How To Deal With Those Who Broke Your Trust

By Jimmy Labrador

How you can possibly deal constructively with a person who has been close to you but who broke your trust with a very dishonest act? For example, the person can be a very close friend whom you are helping financially but who in the end swindled you. Or you may have accommodated a close friend or relative in your house for free and then that friend or relative committed theft against you. These are not uncommon occurrences. How will you handle that kind of a situation - especially if you are a Christian?

There is actually no ambiguity here if you are dealing with a stranger. You file a legal action to recover whatever you may have lost and to obtain the appropriate penalty for the offender under the law. However, it may not be that simple if the offender is someone close to you who has no means anyway against which you can recover. You may not want anymore to file a case for recovery and it is out of the question for you to see him or her suffer a penalty, like imprisonment, if the law were to take its course. I am sure some people can identify themselves with this situation.

In this situation, your real challenge is to find a sane framework with which you can process your trauma - by letting go of the offender and whatever you have lost and by adopting a more positive outlook of the situation to eradicate any negativity you may have developed from the experience. This is important because in a situation like this, you are likely to suffer twice unless you process your experience properly: firstly, you lost something because of that act of dishonesty and secondly, you continue to suffer emotionally, mentally, and even possibly, physically because of the intense negative emotion that accompany any vindictive feelings you may have toward the offender When someone breaks your trust and you continue harboring feelings of vindictiveness, you are actually subjecting yourself to a double whammy.

I suggest applying what I call the "Garden of Eden Paradigm." When Adam and Eve disobeyed God, as related in the Bible, God banished them from the Garden of Eden. The banishment was complete. God was emphatic on that as He put on guard at the entrance to the garden an angel with a flaming sword. Neither Adam nor Eve nor their descendants could ever have an access to the garden again. However, and this is an important point, God continued to maintain a positive relationship with them. Having banished them from Paradise, God nevertheless continued to bless them and their descendants.

Figuratively, the Garden of Eden represents your territory or parameters for trust. No one who breaks your trust can enter that exclusive enclave again, as God demonstrated it to Adam and Eve. As God banished them, you may also banish that friend or relative in perpetuity from your area of trust. But it would be unhealthy for you to hold a grudge forever. As you have banished the person, continue maintaining a positive attitude towards him or her. You will not gain anything by cursing that person. Instead of wishing him or her evil, which actually is a reflection of your lingering negative emotion of vindictiveness, wish him or her luck and release your negative emotion completely.

You would have gotten rid of a pest in your life and the corresponding curse - the negative emotion generated in you - that accompanies the pest. God has shown the way in the Garden of Eden.

JOB, JOBS, EMPLOYMENT

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